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Random and spontaneous probably. Shrugs.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Emotionless abyss

Usually in the presence of a familiar factor like a song or a scent perhaps, it would act like a catalyst provoking a certain bittersweet nostalgic emotion. But right now I am kind of stuck in the abyss of feeling nothing. Is it normal to not be feeling anything for no specific someone? Had I became too accustomed to never venturing into a deeper emotion than "like"? Is it bad that I do no think it's a bad thing at all?

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Mercy

I sat there praying the other day. As tension built up and anxiety threatened to attack, I sat praying for God to give me another chance. I am not deserving but God has mercy. 

Monday, July 13, 2015

Detachment

I made such a promise to myself once, three years ago actually. To never hurt that much again because of another person.

Perhaps my short attention span and my need to shift around is because deep down on a psychological subconscious level, I need to be the one who leaves.

Detachment right?

Friday, June 5, 2015

God

I'm looking for something. I don't know what. But I will know when I find it. 
Maybe tomorrow. It's been awhile since I've been back. I've been lost for a long time now. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The saddest part was perhaps the fact that I had to refrain from showing you stuff that the both of us would laugh hilariously over.

I'm sorry because staying friends was too grey an area that wasn't doing us any favours. 

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Every time I entertain a conversation that has no content, I end up wanting to blow my brains out and ask myself why do I even try?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Losing focus

I am losing focus. I am not dysfunctional, I am not hysterical yet I am losing focus.
Because. 
At the end of a long day, I can't go running to you anymore. 
After having a terrible week I can't spend the weekend snuggled up to you just watching mindless TV shows. 
Because. 
After being an adult the whole day dealing with crap, I don't have you to baby me anymore. 

Sometimes I wonder why must we be segregated by continents, why must we be separated by religion.

I am losing focus. You were my sanity. 

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nothing

The first time I was fuelled by anger and hurt. It pushed me onwards with my daily life because I had to appear fine. But now the 2nd time. I feel nothing and nothing is such a dangerous thing to feel. I'm too tired for the same shit in such a short span of time. And the thing about feeling nothing is that there isn't a powerful emotion to feed off. 

I need to pick myself back up. 

Quote, unquote.

Quote. The content of the secret is sometimes less important than the fact that it was kept from you by someone you trusted. Unquote.

You were my best friend. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Twice is the magic number. 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

How do you say goodbye to your best friend?

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The beginning of an ending

It was unintentional but you had the page open and I knew you were looking again. So that date he asked me on, I agreed. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I feel very unsettled. I haven't found what I am looking for. I don't know what it is but I know I haven't found it. Everything now feels temporary like the life I'm supposed to live has not started yet. Am I the only one?