你今天有比平常多理我，我很开心。Today you paid slightly more attention towards me than usual, that makes me happy.

I don't know what I am here for. I don't know what I am supposed to do with my life.

I kept asking. Now I've tire of it. I no longer ask maybe because a part of me had already died inside.

心很沉重。

They created a group for all pastors' kids. I read one post where a boy a few years my junior talked about how people held certain expectations just because you the child of a pastor.


I am amused,
sometimes the most self-righteous and judgemental people are the pastors' kids themselves.

Just us.

Thank you for making the time to come. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Thank you for putting up with my short comings. Thank you for taking care of me. Happy Valentine's day.

My ramblings are now usually kept short to a certain length of a few sentences, each word chosen and precise to let out what I need yet at the same scarce in detail. It is not that I have nothing to say. It isn't that nothing's going on. But maybe because I'm so worn out from everything that is happening, surroundings, people and even my own feelings.